Forward Motion

I have fallen off the yarn-diet wagon so hard, that I've finally quit the yarn diet. Wait, that's a bit of an exaggeration. Yes, I have bought yarn, but it wasn't a haul like the good ol' days of Mum and me, and yarn petting gone wild. But these mini binges have become cause for concern in their own rite. When I started this yarn diet, I would occasionally slip and buy yarn, then beat myself up over the purchase and vow to begin the diet again immediately. Here's my conclusion: I work hard and sometimes I want yarn. Once I buy yarn, it's done. I've bought yarn and I can't time travel to make it not happen. Therefore, why should I continue to beat myself up about it, especially when I practice moderation and restraint when I do buy, right? This isn't a bad thing--it really isn't. Really. It isn't a bad thing.

For a minute, I believed that it would be in my best interest to cease buying yarn until Kid 'n Ewe in November. Geez, I still have some Brooks Farm that I bought a year and a half ago that sits around and waits to be knitted or petted. But I cannot lie. I miss my mum terribly, and lately I've felt on the cusp of desperation. I don't have the crying spells (which I can't even force, even if it would seem in my best interest), but I still feel like a lost little kid. Anyway, while I was interviewing various sock yarns at Hill Country Weavers last Thursday, it occurred to me that when I feel desperate to reach out for my mum, I buy yarn. It doesn't actually work; I don't feel like she is standing beside me when I do this. However, it's just what I do. So, if I'm already feeling like complete shit because I want my mommy, then why add to the feelings of despair by scolding myself for buying yarn? Nope, it just doesn't make any sense. Besides, when I look at the buget, I'm not spending a lot on yarn. Really. I'm not. By the way, I hired a skein of Dream in Color Smooshy and a skein of Misti Alpaca sock yarn; they're in training.

Through all the craziness that is 2009, Year of Michelle has taken a backseat. I contemplated this as I took a walk through the 'hood this evening. It's time to get back on track with this mutha. So here goes. Today, I am establishing a few goals for the week. I can do almost anything for a week. *Ahem*:

1. Write down everything I eat and drink, as well as any formal exercise I do. Boy, I've been a slacker in this department, but research indicates that written accountability improves one's odds for weight-loss success. I'm not one to argue with the data.
2. Practice drum rudiments daily, for a minimum of 20 minutes. I have a practice pad, so really, there is no excuse.
3. Finish something. I have a sweater that I knit over a year ago that needs to be steam blocked and stitched, another sweater that I need to put the buttons onto and block...You get the picture.
4. Clear out three boxes from my crazy craft room. This will actually be the most difficult.

From Me to My Blog

It's not like I don't want to blog. My problem is that my SD slot is still busted, and I cannot find the software for this computer. The inability to post pictures just sucks my blogging mojo. However, I'm going to make do for the time being. It's time to woman up and quit whining.

Last month, my neighbor and I made a run out to Fredericksburg and of course, when in Fredericksburg, I like to stop by Stonehill Spinning, LTD. When you step onto their little wooden porch and grasp the doorknob, you just know that good things and kind people await on the other side of the door. They certainly did not disappoint. I scored a skein of fingering-weight Yummy by Fibranatura (distributed by Universal Yarns). This stuff is, in fact, quite yummy. If I may be so bold, I would compare it to Socks That Rock, in that the colorways are outside-the-box and the texture and ply are agreeable with almost any pattern. I could pet this stuff all day--I really can.

Today, my wee-est one and I headed to Ulta to pick up some much-needed basics. I spotted Cover Girl Outlast Lipstain, and after reading user raves, I figured I would give it a try. I had read that not only does the product impart long-lasting color, but it actually moisturizes the lips, which no other lip stain does. Sounds good, right? I tried the Plum Pout which is actually pretty, but it made me look like an Asian hooker. Even though that's not the look I'm going for, it didn't look bad. After allowing the lipstain to dry for around three minutes--during which, my lips started to feel like they were shriveling and not bathing in moisturizing luxury-- I started eating lunch--a Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki flatbread sandwich from Subway. When I wiped my mouth, I noticed some of the lipstain on the napkin. Hmm... After lunch, I did a lip check and found that I no longer resembled a Tokyo prostitute, I looked like a crazy old Asian woman with a ring of worn off lipstick around my mouth. To make matters worse, nothing would remove the ring. I even tried using some of the leftover sweet onion sauce, but was unsuccessful. Good thing I was still a few doors down from the store and could return it (as long as you have your receipt, Ulta is cool about returns). Too bad I still had to stop by Costco, the vet's office, and CVS before going home. *sigh* (See note below.)

At a fairly recent SnB, one of the grrls, Courtney, recommended Kiehl's Abyssine Creme. She has sensitive skin and reported that even though the cream initially "burned" her skin, she is used to it and it no longer has that effect. On a trip to Target, I scored the last jar of said cream on the shelf. Score! I used Retin-A for years, so it's amazing that I have any skin left. However, that which didn't kill my skin, only made it stronger, I suppose, so even though my skin gives me crap with large pores and breakouts, it isn't sensitive. Anyway, I added this cream to my usual routine and I'm loving it. It doesn't burn my skin at all, but it helps even out my tone and is helping me get rid of the spots around my eyes. So worth the dough. If you decide to try it for yourself, please keep in mind that you'll need to add sunscreen to your regimen. Wait a second, you should be using sunscreen anyway!

So even though the lipstain was a bust, I did score in the yarn and skin cream departments. I'm still on a strict yarn diet (my neighbor paid for the Yummy, so that didn't count ;). I'm always on the prowl for the perfect lip products, so when I find them, they'll go from my lips to this blog.

Note: I mean no disrespect to Cover Girl. Their Lash Blast Mascara deserves some major kudos for giving lashes volume and length. However, I'm sharing my experience with a particular product, not posting Bible truth.

Stretch, Knit, Stretch

For the past several days, I've been wracking my brain, trying to remember when and how I got into yoga. My earliest memories involve my third-grade self tuning in to PBS at 6 AM to do yoga with Richard Hittleman (the show started right before "Morning Stretch," and when Joannie Greggins played "Fame" on her show, I became hooked on exercise). Since then, there have been two gaps in my practice--my stint in the Army and my third pregnancy. I've made a full return to yoga lately, much to the gratitude of my tight back muscles.

Several months ago, I read in a magazine that the new thing was yoga classes that play hip/comtempory music during the practice. I found this funny because Steve Ross has been doing this on "Inhale," his yoga show that airs every weekday morning at 5 AM CST on the Oxygen Network. I DVR this show and follow along after I get up at 7:30.

If you are brand-spankin' new to yoga and are interested in starting a practice, I strongly recommend not only getting cleared by your physician, but also seeking instruction from a pro. Take a few classes or get some one-on-one, but don't just jump into it. A qualified instructor will help a newb learn how to properly use props like straps and blocks (or even a chair), as well as correct mistakes in posture. It may sound weird, but something as simple as sinking shoulders could cause soreness and injury.

So, back to Steve Ross and his show. There is nothing like starting the day with sun salutations to "What's Going On." Steve is a bit snarky at times (i.e., "If you find that you're losing your balance, grab the person standing next to you. On a good day, you can take out a whole row of people. It's incredibly rewarding."), but that is one of the qualities that keeps me tuning in. You don't have to be this hardcore yoga type who sits on a mountain top and contemplates the meaning of life. Nope, you simply need to tune in and stretch and breathe. It sounds simple because it is. The eye candy following along (including some of the prettiest men I've ever seen) don't hurt the show either.

Knitters, you seriously should consider yoga. If not yoga, then some sort of stretching program. Our hobby, especially when we indulge in yarn dancing on a daily basis, throws our posture out of alignment by hunching our shoulders forward and keeping our necks down. The way to counteract the effects is to stretch the chest, neck, and the shoulders. I have started knitting while sitting upright (I'm the queen of funky sitting/standing/lying positions) with a pillow on my lap to hold my arms. This keeps my shoulders back a little more and keeps my neck from pointing down so much. It also extends my elbows a bit so they don't fatigue as quickly.

For now, I hope you will at least consider squeezing in some time to stretch and breathe into your day. Namaste.

So Glad Knitting is Not My Money-maker

Drama is everywhere. My husband often remarks to his coworkers that "We're not in high school," but the fact is that many things don't change, no matter how old we get or how far away we move. Most work places still have cliques. And someone is always up to no good (or at least doing something pretty stupid).

For me, my procrastination is coming back to haunt me. It really isn't a big deal, but in my usual drama queen fashion, I'm going to blow it up into larger proportions. After my Treehouse of Horror, A.K.A. the summer of '08, I had too much on my plate to deal with at once, so I knit. I knit like a crazy woman. Shawls, sweaters, socks, you name it. Not only did I knit, but I weaved in ends and blocked, both sure signs that I had some serious issues. Now, my motivation is fizzling out and I'm left with warmer weather approaching and some projects just screaming to be finished.

My mom was a chronic finisher. She didn't like having too many UFOs (although that didn't stop her from casting on, really), and passed away with only two. When I started knitting, I knit too slowly for casting on multiple projects to be an issue. Now, I have stuff galore, all just waiting for a little attention. The sad part is that some of it is actually pretty nice. I have a February Lady Sweater (a project that I highly recommend to everyone who believes they don't have what it takes to knit a sweater) that is screaming for buttons and a good blocking. My Shalom Cardigan needs its button sewn on and its ends woven in. And my Central Park Hoodie? I won't even go there. So what's stopping me? Just good ol' fashioned laziness. They're the mundane details of one of my chosen hobbies that I just can't seem to bother with right now (I'm saying this with my nose in the air, and hints of both condescension and irony in my voice--think: Beverly Hills housewife).

Now I don't know what's worse--the fact that I don't want to finish my projects, or the fact that I'm so lazy that I don't feel like winding any yarn, so I haven't really cast on for anything new. It's not that I don't want to knit--I really, really do want to--but I just don't want to stand still for it, not even for a minute. Because of this lack of winding, I have a reversible cabled scarf that I started for my husband (to go with his Koolhaas hat) that is 2/3 done; I just need to wind that third skein of Malabrigo. There are sweaters, shawls, scarves, socks, et cetera, that I want cast on for, but I really don't feel like winding. What makes this worse is that I don't even need to drag out and set up my winder and swift. They're already mounted to my cutting table.

I've actually cleaned bathrooms or cooked things just to avoid my hobby. Yeah, I realize that there are underlying factors that I should address and stop turning my lazy cheek to, but right now, it's a bit like going to church. I'm afraid of things getting too quiet. For the time being, knitting is like that homework assignment that is worth 1% of your grade. It could make the difference between a "B" and an "A," but whatever.

Anyway, check this out. I really have knit stuff. My SD drive is out of commission, but these pictures were managed to buck the system.


Noro Striped Scarf by Jared Flood, for my father-in-law
Yarn: Noro Silk Garden, in 3 forgotten colorways (I'll check when I'm not so lazy)
4 Skeins, US 7








Monkey, by Cookie A., for a friend from back-in-da-day
Yarn: Blue Moon Fiber Arts Socks That Rock, Mediumweight
1 Skein, US 2 bamboo DPNs (because I was too lazy to pick out two circs of the same size)

My Feet Have an E-Mail Address?!

This is a simple cut-and-paste of a letter that I received in my e-mail recently.

Dear Michelle,

On behalf of your whole person, we would like to congratulate you on the completion of both the Country Music Half Marathon and the San Antonio Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon. What a feat! It isn't every day you see someone like you run/walk 13.1 miles, especially with injuries. Wow. That additional medal that the organization sent last month (for completing two half marathons in the series in one year), was impressive in size, by all means. Kuddos.

With that said, we would like to bring to your attention that for the last four and a half years, you have been carrying around an extra 45 pounds. By any chance, are you planning to take action against these fat cells? We have scheduled peace talks with said fat cells, but they have clearly stated that they need an official stance from you personally. Without action from you, they will not only stand firm, but they will continue to multiply and wreck havoc on your entire body.

As your feet, we have carried you for miles at a time, with minimal complaint. However, this will not continue as our policy. You know that heel pain that you have been complaining about lately? Well, perhaps if you would stretch the gastrocnemius, solius, and Achilles tendons more frequently, we would not have to send such unpleasant messages to you. After all, we have transported you 13.1 miles at your will and you have never--not once--consulted us. On top of that, half marathons are in the wee hours of the morning. And how is it that they are always scheduled during "that special time of the month"? But we digress. Although we are please that you no longer make disparaging remarks about our size or lack of cuteness, we would appreciate more frequent pedicures. We're just saying...

Your fingers would like to point out that your original wedding rings do not fit. Your waistline would like to bring to your attention that the padding that has accumulated may increase our risk of a heart attack. Your ankles would like to remind you of how crappy the Country Music Half Marathon felt because they were still sprained. The other parts had complaints as well, but they have requested a private conference with you to discuss their concerns. Please expect a call from our representative this week.

We are pleased to have delivered not one, but two beautiful, healthy kiddos. In order for them to grow up with a clearer understanding of the importance of good health, we, your body, suggest that you set a stronger example by demonstrating healthy eating habits, consistent exercise, and regular sleep. We assure you that if you follow that simple plan, you will have more energy, feel stronger, and tell funnier jokes (maybe not the last part).

Your half marathon schedule for this year looks good, if a bit ambitious, but please consider this a formal notification that if you do not train properly for these events, we will not carry you across any finish lines, including races as short as the 5k. We love you and respect you, and this is not about how the ass is beginning to look like two breakfast sausages arm wrestling in your jeans. This is about excellent health. Therefore, we will see you on the treadmill tomorrow morning.

With love,
Your Feet

P.S. It has not escaped our attention that if you lose the extra, unhealthy weight, we can knit things using less yarn, meaning we can buy the higher-end, more expensive stuff!

Hell No, We Won't Go!

Today could possibly be among the most important days in our nation's history. We have issues, ladies and gentlemen. In this land of plenty--despite a recession--we have problems that have plagued us for a few years now. You know what I'm talking about...

Skinny jeans.

Never mind the fact that I thought we buried skinny jeans in the '80s, skinny jeans serve only two purposes: 1. make skinny chicks look skinnier; 2. make non-skinny chicks look like an ice cream cone. I am among the latter, but more on that in a minute. Look Skinny Chicks, the rest of us get that your thighs do not meet in the middle unless one of us annoyed non-skinnies is tying you into a pretzel (which is good for our upper body strength, so pat yourselves on the back for helping us on our quests for better health), so we really don't need so see this highlighted by ubertight jeans. In addition, skinny jeans tend to be low-rise as well, and if everyone else wanted to see your private 411, we would ask. This brings up the point that if you wear your skinny jeans and a tiny top, don't get pissed off when men gape at you. They are generally attracted to slutty things.

As for walking around looking like an ice cream cone, well, do I really need to expound?

I plan to do my part in this war against skinny jeans. Ugh, they are just bad fashion. Skinny chicks: The boyfriend jeans looked so adorable on you. Bring those back. Non-skinny chicks: A straighter cut from the hip down looks sexy. Pick that. I will begin my crusade at Old Navy today! (Since my local shop is next to a bookstore...)

So, no, I am not among the skinny jeans set. If I were at my goal weight, would I choose skinny jeans? Nope. If I hit my goal weight (which is the high end of my healthy weight), I will walk around gloriously naked. Consider yourselves warned.

Oh! The inauguration. Yes, I plan to tune in because this could be my final day to live in youthful and naive optimism.

New Home, New Year

How does one open up a new blog? It isn't like an open house, where you just post signs around the neighborhood, directing the way to a piece of sometimes over-priced real estate. I considered a drawing. I could give away yarn. The problem: Why attract readers when I don't know how consistent my posts will be? Or if my posts will have any relevance. If I can reach, oh, say, 50 posts with the regularity of a high-fiber diet, then I will for sure throw someone some yarn-y love.

As previously stated in the old blog, this is the Year of Michelle. It simply means that I do things that will make me a smarter, stronger, healthier version of myself, and that better things will come to me and those around me. Unfortunately, this month is clouded in shrapnel from the blast known as 2008. One of my dearest friends lost her mother a few weeks ago, and another dear friend lost his father recently. After all of the deaths in my family last year, including my mom's, it's about time for things to start perking up.

So, here's to a new year, complete with new experiences and new people, and lots of yarn, music, movies, and creme brulee.