I'm not a big fan of the gym in January. It is a natural part of American life to make New Year's resolutions, one of them being to lose weight. While I'm all for people getting off the couch and putting down the Velveeta, I hate the gym congestion. People galore! Wall-to-wall people determined to make this year's resolution stick--for a few weeks, anyway.
Since I can't just ditch the gym completely, I avoid it during the weekends. My light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel was February, since that's when people start falling off and the gym starts returning to normal.
A few weeks ago, I went to a BodyPump class on Thursday and found the class size to be shockingly normal. Hooray! People were flaking already.
That's when it hit. I actually felt sad. If the gym was returning to normal, that meant that people weren't making it beyond a full month on their road to better health. The couch and TV won. Diabetes won. Obesity won. That means people lose the battle.
Of course, last Thursday, BodyPump was so packed that I couldn't get in the door. *sigh* People...!
C'mon, March!
Showing posts with label Run fat girl run. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Run fat girl run. Show all posts
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Come On Let's Sweat!
If you're in one of those I-don't-wanna-laugh-with-someone-I'd-rather-laugh-at-them moods, you've come to the right place. Today, I learned that I've been roaming the gym with a false sense of security and, well, smugness.
My gym is one of those types where people do indeed go for business, but they also have to look good while doing it. Therefore, the women wear cute workout clothes and makeup while they sweat. I would love to know what kind of makeup they use that stays on during such humid conditions, but I digress. Unlike these women who are the majority, I show up in t-shirts and sweats/yoga pants. In this economy, I just don't have the funds to buy cute gym clothes unless they're on serious markdown at Target or Ross. No big deal. Regardless, I go to the gym for me. I want to improve my health so I can improve my quality of life.
It is this attitude that has resulted in my sense of badassness. On cardio days, I Bogart a treadmill or an elliptical machine, and work my arse off to my favorite tunes. Yes, I still call them "tunes." Anyway, after kicking so much arse to the beats of The Killers or Red Hot Chili Peppers, I hit the showers feeling strong! Sexy! 007-ish!
Until today. In one of the dressing rooms, I took off my pants and saw--gasp!--two smiley faces of sweat under my panty line. If I saw them after I took my pants off, then everyone saw them while my sweat was smiling at my behind. Okay, perhaps this doesn't sound as devastating when you're reading it. It's probably one of those things you have to see to get the full funny effect.
Anyway, this episode did not come without a lesson: Buy better pants. Sell off some yarn stash, in necessary. I suppose I should just be glad that I didn't wear a thong today.
My gym is one of those types where people do indeed go for business, but they also have to look good while doing it. Therefore, the women wear cute workout clothes and makeup while they sweat. I would love to know what kind of makeup they use that stays on during such humid conditions, but I digress. Unlike these women who are the majority, I show up in t-shirts and sweats/yoga pants. In this economy, I just don't have the funds to buy cute gym clothes unless they're on serious markdown at Target or Ross. No big deal. Regardless, I go to the gym for me. I want to improve my health so I can improve my quality of life.
It is this attitude that has resulted in my sense of badassness. On cardio days, I Bogart a treadmill or an elliptical machine, and work my arse off to my favorite tunes. Yes, I still call them "tunes." Anyway, after kicking so much arse to the beats of The Killers or Red Hot Chili Peppers, I hit the showers feeling strong! Sexy! 007-ish!
Until today. In one of the dressing rooms, I took off my pants and saw--gasp!--two smiley faces of sweat under my panty line. If I saw them after I took my pants off, then everyone saw them while my sweat was smiling at my behind. Okay, perhaps this doesn't sound as devastating when you're reading it. It's probably one of those things you have to see to get the full funny effect.
Anyway, this episode did not come without a lesson: Buy better pants. Sell off some yarn stash, in necessary. I suppose I should just be glad that I didn't wear a thong today.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
My Feet Have an E-Mail Address?!
This is a simple cut-and-paste of a letter that I received in my e-mail recently.
Dear Michelle,
On behalf of your whole person, we would like to congratulate you on the completion of both the Country Music Half Marathon and the San Antonio Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon. What a feat! It isn't every day you see someone like you run/walk 13.1 miles, especially with injuries. Wow. That additional medal that the organization sent last month (for completing two half marathons in the series in one year), was impressive in size, by all means. Kuddos.
With that said, we would like to bring to your attention that for the last four and a half years, you have been carrying around an extra 45 pounds. By any chance, are you planning to take action against these fat cells? We have scheduled peace talks with said fat cells, but they have clearly stated that they need an official stance from you personally. Without action from you, they will not only stand firm, but they will continue to multiply and wreck havoc on your entire body.
As your feet, we have carried you for miles at a time, with minimal complaint. However, this will not continue as our policy. You know that heel pain that you have been complaining about lately? Well, perhaps if you would stretch the gastrocnemius, solius, and Achilles tendons more frequently, we would not have to send such unpleasant messages to you. After all, we have transported you 13.1 miles at your will and you have never--not once--consulted us. On top of that, half marathons are in the wee hours of the morning. And how is it that they are always scheduled during "that special time of the month"? But we digress. Although we are please that you no longer make disparaging remarks about our size or lack of cuteness, we would appreciate more frequent pedicures. We're just saying...
Your fingers would like to point out that your original wedding rings do not fit. Your waistline would like to bring to your attention that the padding that has accumulated may increase our risk of a heart attack. Your ankles would like to remind you of how crappy the Country Music Half Marathon felt because they were still sprained. The other parts had complaints as well, but they have requested a private conference with you to discuss their concerns. Please expect a call from our representative this week.
We are pleased to have delivered not one, but two beautiful, healthy kiddos. In order for them to grow up with a clearer understanding of the importance of good health, we, your body, suggest that you set a stronger example by demonstrating healthy eating habits, consistent exercise, and regular sleep. We assure you that if you follow that simple plan, you will have more energy, feel stronger, and tell funnier jokes (maybe not the last part).
Your half marathon schedule for this year looks good, if a bit ambitious, but please consider this a formal notification that if you do not train properly for these events, we will not carry you across any finish lines, including races as short as the 5k. We love you and respect you, and this is not about how the ass is beginning to look like two breakfast sausages arm wrestling in your jeans. This is about excellent health. Therefore, we will see you on the treadmill tomorrow morning.
With love,
Your Feet
P.S. It has not escaped our attention that if you lose the extra, unhealthy weight, we can knit things using less yarn, meaning we can buy the higher-end, more expensive stuff!
Dear Michelle,
On behalf of your whole person, we would like to congratulate you on the completion of both the Country Music Half Marathon and the San Antonio Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon. What a feat! It isn't every day you see someone like you run/walk 13.1 miles, especially with injuries. Wow. That additional medal that the organization sent last month (for completing two half marathons in the series in one year), was impressive in size, by all means. Kuddos.
With that said, we would like to bring to your attention that for the last four and a half years, you have been carrying around an extra 45 pounds. By any chance, are you planning to take action against these fat cells? We have scheduled peace talks with said fat cells, but they have clearly stated that they need an official stance from you personally. Without action from you, they will not only stand firm, but they will continue to multiply and wreck havoc on your entire body.
As your feet, we have carried you for miles at a time, with minimal complaint. However, this will not continue as our policy. You know that heel pain that you have been complaining about lately? Well, perhaps if you would stretch the gastrocnemius, solius, and Achilles tendons more frequently, we would not have to send such unpleasant messages to you. After all, we have transported you 13.1 miles at your will and you have never--not once--consulted us. On top of that, half marathons are in the wee hours of the morning. And how is it that they are always scheduled during "that special time of the month"? But we digress. Although we are please that you no longer make disparaging remarks about our size or lack of cuteness, we would appreciate more frequent pedicures. We're just saying...
Your fingers would like to point out that your original wedding rings do not fit. Your waistline would like to bring to your attention that the padding that has accumulated may increase our risk of a heart attack. Your ankles would like to remind you of how crappy the Country Music Half Marathon felt because they were still sprained. The other parts had complaints as well, but they have requested a private conference with you to discuss their concerns. Please expect a call from our representative this week.
We are pleased to have delivered not one, but two beautiful, healthy kiddos. In order for them to grow up with a clearer understanding of the importance of good health, we, your body, suggest that you set a stronger example by demonstrating healthy eating habits, consistent exercise, and regular sleep. We assure you that if you follow that simple plan, you will have more energy, feel stronger, and tell funnier jokes (maybe not the last part).
Your half marathon schedule for this year looks good, if a bit ambitious, but please consider this a formal notification that if you do not train properly for these events, we will not carry you across any finish lines, including races as short as the 5k. We love you and respect you, and this is not about how the ass is beginning to look like two breakfast sausages arm wrestling in your jeans. This is about excellent health. Therefore, we will see you on the treadmill tomorrow morning.
With love,
Your Feet
P.S. It has not escaped our attention that if you lose the extra, unhealthy weight, we can knit things using less yarn, meaning we can buy the higher-end, more expensive stuff!
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