Simple rules when faced with trying times:
1. Acknowledge the feeling.
2. Embrace it.
3. Release it.
Easy. I turn to this list when something makes me sad, angry, or even confused. Of late, however, there is one thing that has me completely baffled to the point where I can't even name the feeling...
Aging.
I would never want to be the head-in-the-clouds dumbass that I was at 21 (although I wouldn't mind having my 21-year-old ass back). But dang, it was so easy to take things for granted. Pimple before a date? Smack some concealer on it! A little too much to love around the middle? Why, add four more sit-ups to the routine and drink more water! Bender the night before? A couple of aspirin and greasy tacos! Aches and pains? What are those?!
As I approach 40, the answers change. Pimple before one of three dates a year with my husband? Why the heck am I still getting pimples! A little too much to love around the middle? To my children: Yeah, you're welcome! Bender the night before? The nights are perfect for catching up on chores, TiVo, and crashing out on the couch to wake up at 3 AM with a magazine page stuck to my face! Aches and pains? Aye, where do I begin?
When I was 21, I had no idea that how you age isn't so much about making a conscious decision to grow old gracefully, but rather a culmination of little decisions that lead to how well we age. For example, when faced with the decision to either go to the gym or take the day off, well, in the grand scheme of things, one day might not look like it would make a difference. But overall, that one workout takes you one workout closer to your overall goal. Applying that same logic, skipping that one workout can keep you one workout away from your overall goal. And there is nothing wrong with taking the middle road--resting and doing half a workout. But when faced with choices--i.e. hit the gym or head into downtown Frankfurt with friends--I generally chose the latter. I don't regret it, but it's something to think about.
At 28, I came to realize that the popular people on TV were, for the most part, younger than I. This realization sucked because I was a single mom and I wasn't ready to feel old.
On my 30th birthday, I took the day off from work. The kiddos were in school and the fella who is now my husband was sleeping so I went to a park and cried (a bit dramatic, considering it was just about crossing the threshold into another decade). Then I took a nap.
Now whenever I hang out with my step-daughter who is now 16, I am constantly reminded (although silently, unintentionally, and without malice) that I am getting older. Older. Hm.
Okay, so bad decisions and theatrics aside, what about aging? We can't avoid it. Sure, our physical appearances do...whatever. But why am I so hung up on it? Because weird things are happening to my body. I'm not talking about puberty or menopause, I'm just saying that some things now point to my shoes and other things have developed strange aches in places I didn't know aches could exist. And despite my efforts, stuff happens. Gravity. Muscle pains that don't make sense (like, my calves are sore after BodyPump--geez). And you know what I find even weirder about aging? I'm living healthier than I ever have and weird things are still happening. I floss daily, I drink water, I exercise, I wear sunblock.
1. Acknowledge the feeling.
2. Embrace it.
3. Release it.
Easy. I turn to this list when something makes me sad, angry, or even confused. Of late, however, there is one thing that has me completely baffled to the point where I can't even name the feeling...
Aging.
I would never want to be the head-in-the-clouds dumbass that I was at 21 (although I wouldn't mind having my 21-year-old ass back). But dang, it was so easy to take things for granted. Pimple before a date? Smack some concealer on it! A little too much to love around the middle? Why, add four more sit-ups to the routine and drink more water! Bender the night before? A couple of aspirin and greasy tacos! Aches and pains? What are those?!
As I approach 40, the answers change. Pimple before one of three dates a year with my husband? Why the heck am I still getting pimples! A little too much to love around the middle? To my children: Yeah, you're welcome! Bender the night before? The nights are perfect for catching up on chores, TiVo, and crashing out on the couch to wake up at 3 AM with a magazine page stuck to my face! Aches and pains? Aye, where do I begin?
When I was 21, I had no idea that how you age isn't so much about making a conscious decision to grow old gracefully, but rather a culmination of little decisions that lead to how well we age. For example, when faced with the decision to either go to the gym or take the day off, well, in the grand scheme of things, one day might not look like it would make a difference. But overall, that one workout takes you one workout closer to your overall goal. Applying that same logic, skipping that one workout can keep you one workout away from your overall goal. And there is nothing wrong with taking the middle road--resting and doing half a workout. But when faced with choices--i.e. hit the gym or head into downtown Frankfurt with friends--I generally chose the latter. I don't regret it, but it's something to think about.
At 28, I came to realize that the popular people on TV were, for the most part, younger than I. This realization sucked because I was a single mom and I wasn't ready to feel old.
On my 30th birthday, I took the day off from work. The kiddos were in school and the fella who is now my husband was sleeping so I went to a park and cried (a bit dramatic, considering it was just about crossing the threshold into another decade). Then I took a nap.
Now whenever I hang out with my step-daughter who is now 16, I am constantly reminded (although silently, unintentionally, and without malice) that I am getting older. Older. Hm.
Okay, so bad decisions and theatrics aside, what about aging? We can't avoid it. Sure, our physical appearances do...whatever. But why am I so hung up on it? Because weird things are happening to my body. I'm not talking about puberty or menopause, I'm just saying that some things now point to my shoes and other things have developed strange aches in places I didn't know aches could exist. And despite my efforts, stuff happens. Gravity. Muscle pains that don't make sense (like, my calves are sore after BodyPump--geez). And you know what I find even weirder about aging? I'm living healthier than I ever have and weird things are still happening. I floss daily, I drink water, I exercise, I wear sunblock.
There is no choice between being a dumb animal of 21 or a wise neurotic of one's late 30s. And while I have acquired years of wisdom and accomplishment, I still stand around and wonder, why do my bum muscles ache like they took a bum whooping? Hm.
