Today could possibly be among the most important days in our nation's history. We have issues, ladies and gentlemen. In this land of plenty--despite a recession--we have problems that have plagued us for a few years now. You know what I'm talking about...
Skinny jeans.
Never mind the fact that I thought we buried skinny jeans in the '80s, skinny jeans serve only two purposes: 1. make skinny chicks look skinnier; 2. make non-skinny chicks look like an ice cream cone. I am among the latter, but more on that in a minute. Look Skinny Chicks, the rest of us get that your thighs do not meet in the middle unless one of us annoyed non-skinnies is tying you into a pretzel (which is good for our upper body strength, so pat yourselves on the back for helping us on our quests for better health), so we really don't need so see this highlighted by ubertight jeans. In addition, skinny jeans tend to be low-rise as well, and if everyone else wanted to see your private 411, we would ask. This brings up the point that if you wear your skinny jeans and a tiny top, don't get pissed off when men gape at you. They are generally attracted to slutty things.
As for walking around looking like an ice cream cone, well, do I really need to expound?
I plan to do my part in this war against skinny jeans. Ugh, they are just bad fashion. Skinny chicks: The boyfriend jeans looked so adorable on you. Bring those back. Non-skinny chicks: A straighter cut from the hip down looks sexy. Pick that. I will begin my crusade at Old Navy today! (Since my local shop is next to a bookstore...)
So, no, I am not among the skinny jeans set. If I were at my goal weight, would I choose skinny jeans? Nope. If I hit my goal weight (which is the high end of my healthy weight), I will walk around gloriously naked. Consider yourselves warned.
Oh! The inauguration. Yes, I plan to tune in because this could be my final day to live in youthful and naive optimism.
6 comments:
I'm with you on the skinny jeans. A couple of my students wear them and in my opinion, they look good on no one. Even skinny, long legged, teenagers look like ice cream cones, and almost everyone looks like they have huge feet in skinny jeans.
Word. And what's up with the guys that look like they stole their sister's skinny jeans? Ew.
*psst* I've heard that the mid-rise flared "Flirt" jeans from Old Navy do wonders for those of with a few more curves.
Well, I definitely agree! And -- did you know I got a 'warning' when I came to your blog, letting me now it might be naughty? That didn't happen last time.
Good post. Very pretty background.
too funny!! Away with Muffin Tops!!
Cheers.
Your new diggs look rockin' by the way.
When...(note i said when you do)...when u reach your goal weight, I will walk around naked with you! You know it'll be fun!!!
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